Monthly Archives: June 2014

Music is the way to my soul….

Top favourite songs at the moment, Fifteen minutes uncensored in my head.

First of all picking my top three songs is near to impossible. i’ve been a mad music person for years and for me there’s nothing i love than is to put on my headphones, having my music blarring adn just write. i’t’s like Im letting go of the world around em adn just being. I mean truely just being here in this moment right now. Its one of the few times, when I actually watch myself typing instead of touch typing. (always trying to double check i havent got grammar error or speeling mistakes. Well this is a completely uncensored and unedited post. So please I know there is mistakes and parts will be badly written. But thats not what this post is about. Its about finding that peaceful moment in each day.

Oh my top songs. I totally got distracted.

Sometimes we feel alone, and its hard to be truely yourself, no holding back, no censoring just in case you offend people. Its a fact that we are constantly seeking approval from people around us, but it seems to be on our own terms. Which logically doesnt work as we’re all different.
I like the concept of not giving a shit and being completely ourselves, but most of us fear the consequences of it.
If you could let go for one day, what would you do?

My second choice is Jose Gonzalez – Heartbeats

I love this song. I instinctively calm down, breathe and completely mellow. Its just someone is standing behind me lifting all the shit in my life and blowing it away. It doesnt matter how pissed off i am, upset or generally fed up, this calms me to a point where I can let go.

This is about missed opportunities, and remembering the having no regrets. Life can feel like shit is always happening, and if we’re honest it is. I’m sorry if your one of these people who feels we are hard done by these days, but the reality is shit has always happened. Its about the way you to see things. Recently, I’ve seriously ill. I didnt feel ill and to be honest i hated the way people looked at me who knew. So I stopped telling people. People treat me the same as any other day. Its important to ensure that your perspective works for you. I told my friends I’m all better, to stop the constant pitting and worrying, but in reality I’m still fighting.

To smile I turn to Pharrell Williams – Happy.

There’s something about this song that just makes me bounce. Be honest, can you honestly listen to this without bopping, or smiling?
For me its about embracing the good in life.

But for me, the Ultimate feel good song is Labrinth – Beneath your beauutiful.

Izzy ( Listening to John Legend’s – All of me)

Do you actually have a career or just a life of bullshit?

I was thinking about this quite seriously tonight, as I sat around my friends all of which declared they’re boss was a wanker, tosser, twat, incompetant etc…

I’ve tried a variety of jobs; retail, design, teaching, office, social work, consellor etc to find that for each of these jobsĀ  that despite finding an element I loved, there was always a twat who ruined it for you. I do truly mean ruin it. Is that because we always find fault, or is it because actually it doesnt matter what job you have in any industry that in reality, every job is a career in bullshit. All people lie about their progress, achievements, your boss bullshits about the opportunies you can have, and about the perks of the job.

So how much of your job is bullshit? Dealing with bullshit which makes you wanna quit and dealing out bullshit.
Is there anyone who actually loves their whole job? I’d love to know if you found that perfect job and enriches your life.

For me I’ve learnt to let go and not care anymore, which at first sadden me, to know that jobs that I was extremely passionate and enthusiatic about. Is now just a job! i complete it soley to earn enough money to do the things I love. (Writing, music, travelling, my bike and arts).

Is it wrong I like my alone time?

There’s a storm brewing outside at the moment. It’s one of those romantic, eery storms, where the sky darkens as the clouds merge into several different shade of charcoal grey and there’s the smell of rain in the air.

I have my extremely diverse music blairing out of my speakers. The kind that makes you wanna scream and shout at the top of voice, just to let go of everything inside you. The rain stampeeds towards the house, tapping faster and louder against my window, like its trying to get my attention over the music. But it wont work. I love how the beat of the rain complements the music. The sound of water being pushed and splashed out by the cars as the whiz past in hurry. I never get why people rush in the rain. Why not stop and appreciate it. Embrace the rain and the rhyme it makes.

There’s something very theraptic about a storm, about giving up all the bullshit at once and the sunshine after, embarking on a new moment. The smell of the fresh air, the rays of sunshine bouncing about.

If only there were more storms.

Is it real?

Well what a week. My job has had a full role reinvention, my health has been of great concern (I’m fighting both a genetic illness and the continous testing at the hospital at the mo) and I’ve been struggling.
I’ve had one of those days where you can’t help but question everything…
Have you ever woken up and questioned what is real? Are you actually still asleep?Did that actually happen? Well I’ve been thinking about how we know whats happening is actually real or not? Answer: We dont!
Our minds only percieve what they think is really. If you think about it, the films Matrix and Inception have it right. When we remember dreams, its a perception of chemicals and responses to outside stimuli but thats it. When we dye, most people believe either thats it. We’re done. Or believe our soul/mind/conscious continues somewhere. Both of which is just our mind either consciously or unconsciously continuing with chemical stimuli.
So can we effect our minds to believe whats not true. We are happy? we have everything we want? Mind over matter has been proven to exist. People overcome pain, illness etc. But is that because our mind is a muscle and if stretched and worked it will comtinue to develop or is it complete crap?

What do you think?